Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Humbled, and other new things

Pretty Wrap Nails
So, I still wanted to put up an image, at least one, and I figured this is pretty nice.  I started with the Jamberry nail art wraps, to apply to your nails, a couple months ago.  I'm not getting super far with it, but I am impressed with the concept and product.  Nice stuff.
I've also added SuperPoints, some of you may remember that they were around a couple years ago, for click pay work.  Not a lot, but one of my favorites.  I realized that they re-opened, and it is by invite only.  Nothing to lose, can make a little money if you are sitting around online a lot.
Since I last posted, I've been humbled, several times.  I really thought I had experienced some of the very worst in life here.  Or at least incredible things that no one should HAVE to go through.  And I thought I had a pretty good idea of the path in front of me. It's interesting that my "Do Over" entry is my most read post. (and some interesting new...followers, sigh)  Going forward was going to be hard work, really hard, and it would take some time before I saw some real sunshine.  And I have been surprised again. Some in a bad way, new firsts for dumb stuff that I had to stand up and be a mature adult for, just....embarrassing.  Never too old for those kinds of firsts, I guess.  And I have just been grateful for the people that surround me today.  It's not perfect(not yet!) but it is love, acceptance, and my own space to breathe. More than I thought I would find, and have gone without.  Nice to know I don't have to be a total hermit to have some peace. And somewhere, in all of these tangled relationships along the way, I shed a lot of stuff.  Other people, things, normalcy.  I thought it would still be a while before I would get some of that back.  I had some time to get on solid ground and get balanced, and get in shape to see what I could get back of those things.  But it's coming, like a lightning bolt out of the blue sky.  That I am missed, needed, was "right" about things, and even need my help.
It's exceptional to be getting my place back in life.  Validated as a person, trying to do the right thing, and not shoved aside. It's been a really long time since I've been counted on as the strong/wise/trusted one, and without a fight.  I have a new life, and really can have some of the old pieces back that I want.  Things that lie ahead are scary(but am not fearful), exciting, liberating.  And I'm not ready, but I am.
I know I don't talk about this stuff much, and this isn't really the place. But I am known to be a realist, and to see and feel the amazing changes that life is putting before me now----I really am humbled. Appreciative of what is put in my reach now.  And I have been out on a new path for a year, it seems to be changing quite quickly now; the gray cloud finally lifting for real. Still hard, but no bad stumbles.  If this, what the tip of the iceberg, starting now, is what I have been holding out hope for, for what seems to have been my whole life, it's worth it. 
And I have been doing a little stitching again.  My next updates should have some progress pics!!

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